Caution: Spoilers ahead!

No stranger to the Green Scare, the latest episode of CBS’s The Mentalist (Season 2, Episode 12 – the appropriately titled “Bleeding Heart“) featured a terra-inducing plot line, complete with a proposed mega-development in the wilderness, government corruption and intrigue, and a graffiti-and-arson-loving eco-terrorist named Jasper.

Here’s what you need to know, via TVOvermind:

The Mentalist “Bleeding Heart” begins with Agent Teresa Lisbon (Robin Tunney) and consultant Patrick Jane (Simon Baker) being interviewed by a camera crew in the CBI office. [...]

Lisbon allows the crew access to the office and bullpen, but not the crime scene. The team is investigating the murder of the mayor’s aide, who was found when the mayor herself broke ground in front of the cameras for a new development project. When they interview Mayor Melba Walker Shannon (Sharon Lawrence of Privileged and NYPD Blue) and her assistant Wilson (Firefly‘s Sean Maher), Jane notices immediately that the mayor seems uncomfortable talking about the victim. When he presses, the mayor asks them to leave.

A possible perpetrator of the crime is an environmental group led by a man named Jasper. Though they’ve burned down buildings on protective land and other drastic measures, they haven’t committed any murder in their past history. Rigsby and Cho pay a visit to the foreman on the building site where the aide’s body was discovered, but while they’re questioning him, the trailer gets firebombed and the door jammed. The foreman is injured and Rigsby and Cho barely make it out with him before the place burns up. It’s clear to them that Jasper is escalating in violence.

Further investigation leads the team to suspect that the mayor was being bribed to approve projects on previously protected lands.

The investigation continues, yada yada yada, Jane takes the news crew out for tacos by way of an apology for exploding at them earlier – and is promptly kidnapped by Jasper and his crew:

Jane is blindfolded and led to a cabin in the woods. His blindfold is removed and he’s confronted by the masked men, one of whom he surmises is eco-terrorist Jasper. Jasper wants Jane to carry a message that he’s not the one who committed murder or attempted to kill the detectives. Unfortunately Jane reveals that he’s figured out Jasper’s identity–the mayor’s assistant Wilson. [...]

While Jasper tries to decide what to do now that Jane knows his identity, Jane tries to talk his way out of his own possible murder, saying he can help Wilson. He succeeds in getting Wilson to a near state of hypnosis, when they’re suddenly interrupted by a loud shout that the house is surrounded by law enforcement personnel. Jane urges Jasper to stay calm. When Lisbon and the cops burst in, Jane is alone and restrained and Jasper has escaped out of a trap door.

On The Mentalist, the most obvious suspect never turns out to be the murderer – and “Bleeding Heart” is no exception. Despite the murderer’s obvious attempts to frame the eco-terrorists, in the end, Jane is onto Martha’s killer:

Mike [the news reporter] confesses that he’d been begging the aide for information about possible corruption in the mayor’s office–that the scoop could make his career. She wouldn’t tell him a thing, but then one day he discovered an expose she was writing about the mayor. Jealous and enraged at her cutting him out of the story, and pushed over the edge when she started mocking him, he killed her.

Jane remained true to his word to help Wilson. Due to the way he handled things, Wilson is able to cut a deal with the DA in exchange for information about the mayor’s corruption.

As with the series’s previous animal rights themed episodes, I was rather unimpressed with The Mentalist‘s treatment of eco-terrorism. While not the killer, Wilson/Jasper is portrayed at turns as a super-spy (infiltrating the enemy’s lair, gaining her trust, and persuading Martha to break the bribery story) and a bumbling fool (committing one crime in a sorry attempt to convince law enforcement that he’s innocent of another, thus revealing his true identity in the process). Additionally, while Jasper is no killer and in fact abhors physical/bodily violence, it’s strongly implied that Jasper is (reluctantly) willing to kill Jane to prevent his secret from getting out. Smart/foolhardy, crafty/sloppy, violent/pacifist – pick a side, we’re at war! (Lazy writing, perhaps?)

Also dubious is how Lisbon manages to track down Jane. CBI hauls in one of Jasper’s known associates for questioning – which basically involves Cho and Rigsby threatening bodily harm. As one reviewer puts it, “he folds like a card table, giving away the location of Jasper’s cabin.” From “green warrior” to snitch in less than 60 seconds. As if. (Possible, yes, but not bloody likely. Government harassment and repression of activists and dissidents is all-too common, such that I have trouble believing that an ELF member wouldn’t be able to withstand a little posturing, at the very least.)

Likewise, at one point during his kidnapping, Jane drops this eye-roller:

It’s a good rule of thumb to avoid doing things that require wearing a mask. And you’re such a handsome fellow too.

Now, Jane’s a smart, astute, observant guy – and in the season and a half that he’s been rolling with the CBI, he’s seen his colleagues do some illegal, unconstitutional shit. He’s enticed them into doing some illegal, unconstitutional shit. Hell, he’s done plenty of illegal, unconstitutional shit himself. Assault, breaking and entering, illegal search and seizure; Jane even wiretapped the CBI. In short, he should know much, much better than this.** Activists choose to remain anonymous for a number of reasons – including protecting themselves from government-sponsored “terrorism.”

So, as with the previous plot lines involving animal advocacy and terrorism, this episode of The Mentalist is a wash. While the show doesn’t buy into popular narratives of activists as misanthropic criminals, it doesn’t upend them, either. Also, only 38 episodes into the series, and 3 have featured animal rights and/or eco-terrorist themes – a rather high percentage, no? Then again, as the husband observed, the show is set in California. Bleeding hearts may be CA’s greatest export!

* While the title is somewhat tongue-in-cheek, I’ve no doubt that the entire crew of Serenity qualify as terrorists, even absent today’s uber-”inclusive” definition of the term.

** On a side note, I’ve a similar bone to pick with, ahem, Bones. Booth, the Reaganesque FBI agent / former military sniper, wants desperately to believe in America, “the greatest country on earth.” Acknowledging that the government is at turns immoral – repressing dissidents, oppressing marginalized groups, lying to its citizens, violating the constitution, etc. – might mean acknowledging that the many sacrifices Booth made throughout his career were in the service of evil. Yet, as an FBI agent who oftentimes abuses his power, Booth himself is evidence of that which he does not want to believe.

See, for example, Season 5, Episode 12, “The Proof in the Pudding,” in which shadowy government agents (led by an African-American man named “Mr. White”) put the Jeffersonian on lockdown (effectively kidnapping everyone inside) so that Brennan and her team can examine a set of human remains (whom they are forbidden to identify) for cause of death. Available evidence suggests that the bones are those of John F. Kennedy – and that the gunshot wounds in the man’s skull were inflicted by two shooters. Booth refuses to accept that the remains are indeed JFK’s, since this would indicate a massive government cover-up. In the end, Brennan uses “the proof in the pudding” to assure her partner that the skeleton is not that of JFK – though the audience is left wondering. Yet, the mystery man’s identity is moot, given the rest of the plot line. (I.e., is a government that kidnaps its citizens any more trustworthy than one that rewrites history?)

Proceed with caution: Major spoilers ahead!

A few weeks ago, I wrote about an animal rights terrorism plotline on CBS’s The Mentalist. At the time, I worried that maybe the show had jumped the shark. Well, after a brief break over the holiday season, The Mentalist returned Tuesday with an awesome episode (Season 1, Episode 11: Red John’s Friends). Although…I was a little surprised to see animal rights terra-ists make another brief appearance. That’s two episodes in a row, and in completely unrelated story lines. And this time, we Totally. Ruin. Everything. Like WTF, Bruno Heller!?

Here are the relevant bits: the titular character (Simon Baker as Patrick Jane) used to be a psychic charlatan, a fraud. A real sleazy John Edward type. While on the daytime talk show circuit, Jane started talking smack about a serial killer called Red John, whom he was “helping” the police to catch. Red John got pissed and killed Jane’s wife and daughter. Jane renounced his flim-flamin’ ways and joined the California Bureau of Investigation (CBI) as a legitimate consultant – with the ultimate goal of one day finding Red John and exacting revenge.

There’s the background. So. In this particular episode, a convicted murderer (Todd Stashwick as Jared) makes a deal with Jane: Jane proves the man’s innocence (he’s an asshat, but ultimately not guilty of this particular crime), and he’ll tell Jane everything he knows about Red John (a friend of friend dealio). Jane ultimately solves the case, catching the real killer – but with a little help from Red John. Red John, you see, is onto Jared, and wants him sprung from the pokey so Red John can kill him before Jared divulges his identity. Jared suspects as much because, hey! – he’s flapping his gums about outing a serial killer. CBI wants Jared to get to Red John who also wants to get Jared. It’s a game of cat and mouse, and they’re all playing one another.

Fast forward to Jared’s release from prison. CBI, while transporting Jared from the jail, gets stuck in a traffic jam. Some sort of street protest. An angry mob! The perfect storm! The detectives’ eyes dart nervously to and fro. Signs! Protesters! “Meat is murder!” “No fur!” ZOMFG, it’s those crazy animal rights extremists, at it again! The street is flooded with protesters – 50, 100 maybe. Angry, agitated people everywhere! You just know something bad is bound to happen.

Funny thing is, the meat huggers seem to be protesting everything…and nothing. There is no cohesive theme to or target of their protest. The production crew just threw a bunch of stereotypical AR slogans on placards and – voilà – instant protest.

This is all kind of silly (and lazy), but not particularly bothersome – except that Jared takes advantage of the disorder and panic to escape. He throws his hot coffee in one agent’s face and flees into the mob-crowd. CBI loses Jared; but Red John tracks him down in Tijuana and slays him before he can out a serial killer. A psychotic who brutally murdered the series protagonist’s family.

Thanks a bunch, crazy animal rights terra-ists! Always effing shit up for the rest of humanity, you are.

I know, I know. The AR angle is pretty inconsequential. I just find it amusing that the writers/producers made the protest an animal rights one, when the episode immediately preceding this one also featured crazy, misanthropic animal rights extremists. I’m starting to feel like a caricature here.

Besides, it would’ve been more realistic if the cops had rounded up the protesters and violated their First Amendment rights. Especially in Cali!

Proceed with caution: Spoilers galore!

Ten episodes in, and already The Mentalist has jumped on the animal rights terra-ism bandwagon.

Let me preface this by saying that I’m addicted to cop tv: The X-Files, CSI, NCIS, Law & Order, Criminal Intent, Life, NYPD Blue – I just love ‘em. And my love runs extra-deep for the serialized cop drama/mystery/thrillers with a season/series-long story arc. Throw in a lead character who just so happens to be an atheist, and I’m hooked. Hello, The Mentalist!

That said, the latest installment (Season 1, Episode 10: Red Brick and Ivy) just wasn’t up to snuff.

The plot line is all too familiar: a scientist who experiments on non-human animals is murdered; the prerequisite, SHAC-like animal rights group which has been “terrorizing” said scientist (or said scientist’s university/lab/company/employer) for months is suspect numero uno. Cue the crazy!

In The Mentalist, the scientist in question is an up-and-coming neuroscientist who, along with his colleagues, has been conducting invasive research on animals (most notably, chimpanzees – unfortunately, a baby chimp does have a role in the episode) in order to locate the structures in the human brain which govern morality. The end goal? Finding a way to manipulate these structures and thus, magically, turn all of humanity into moral beings. Whatever that means.

(One question used to judge whether the subject is “good” or “evil,” for example, goes like this: “You and another person are stranded on a desert island. There’s only enough food supply to sustain one person. Do you hoard all the food for yourself, or do you share it?” I’m paraphrasing, but you get the gist. The morally “good” answer is to share the food; this implies that you’d be “evil” to hoard it. But if you share the food, you and your fellow Lostie will both die of hunger, albeit more slowly. The questioner did say that there’s only enough food to feed one person, remember? So why would it be “immoral” or “evil” for each island dweller to try and ensure his or her own survival?

Another question involves eleven people stranded in a life boat made for ten; do you sacrifice the sole 60-year-old man to ensure the survival of the ten children on board, or not? The moral answer is to chuck the older dude overboard. But moral in whose estimation? I’m sure the old dude would take exception with the “moral” choice.

Also of interest is whether the scientists’ own research will put them out of business; if your goal is to make all of humanity moral, won’t the end result be a world in which no one wants to torture animals for a living?

Finally, and I know I digress, but the research involves the ability to “turn” people good – or evil. Hello, anyone see a problem with the applications here? I’m fairly certain that success in this area will not lead to the hoped-for “utopia.”)

In the end, the murderer is not a member of the animal rights group (whose name escapes me now – it’s something generic, like “Animal Equality Now”), but rather the dean of the university which houses and supports the research institution. The animal rights terra-ism angle, in fact, is ditched pretty early on – within the first 15 minutes or so. But not before the CBI (California Bureau of Investigation) hauls in one of its members, who proves to be eccentric at best – in need of mental help, at worst. The guy is a middle-aged, conventionally unattractive white dude, living in a run-down warehouse-like building with twenty-odd cats – your typical gross loser slob. He promptly confesses to killing the Professor (even though he didn’t), and claims that the lead researcher is next. Then he starts ranting about the structure of the animal rights group; nevermind that ALF (which usually serves as a prototype for Hollywood) doesn’t have a hierarchical leadership structure. The “titles” are laughable, and sound like something out of World of Warcraft or Harry Potter: I am the Grand Imperial Wizard of AEN! All bow to my awesome power!

So while the animal rights crazies didn’t do it, the animal rights crazies are still crazy. Bah.

On the flip side, the “scientists” are all depicted as frauds, falsifying their data to prove their cockamamie theories and justify worthless research. Call it a wash, I guess.

The stupid stereotypes surrounding animal advocates isn’t the only reason I disliked this episode, though. Normally, The Mentalist is pretty fastidious with the details. But the psychiatrist/patient relationship as depicted between Patrick Jane (Simon Baker) and Sophie Miller (Elisabeth Röhm) is unrealistic. In real life, fraternizing with a patient – even an ex-patient – like that is highly unethical, if not grounds for having your license revoked. As is allowing Jane to consult on a case in which his ex-psychiatrist is the main murder suspect. It just wouldn’t fly. At least, I hope not. Our justice system is supposed to be just, ya know?

Anyway, I do so hope The Mentalist hasn’t jumped the shark. We need more atheism and skepticism on tv, not less!