Archive: January 2009

Liam Neeson is a Fooking Wanker

Monday, January 26th, 2009 by Kelly Garbato

Crossposted from V for Vegan.

Liam Neeson was on The Daily Show Thursday in order to promote his latest movie, Taken (which – and it pains me to admit this after sitting through his idiocy – doesn’t look half bad). In case you hadn’t heard, Neeson recently penned a letter to the New York City (City?) Council in opposition to recent legislation which would ban the horse carriage “biz” in NYC.*

Host Jon Stewart begins the interview by asking about Neeson’s efforts to “save” New York City’s carriage horses. By “save,” I mean continue to enslave and exploit. It’s tradition, dontchaknow!

Cue the stupid:
 

 
While I’ve enjoyed TDS off and on for years, I’ve always found Stewart’s interview skills to be, shall we say, somewhat lacking. And yet, with only a minimal grasp of the issues – and playing the most amiable Devil’s Advocate ever – Jon p0wns Liam. He offers up the rather commonsense observation that the horses would probably be happier in a more pastoral setting (as opposed to the stables next to his studio), where they’d be able to roam free without worrying about dodging NYC traffic. How about we build a home for the horses in Central Park, where citizens can “enjoy” them in a more natural environment, he suggests? A nice “compromise,” no?

In response, Neeson insists that the horses are treated well, blah blah blah, it would be irresponsible to lay off 400 workers while the economy’s in the toilet, yada yada yada, insert your standard appeals to tradition here, and – here’s the kicker – the horses actually prefer working a 9 to 5 job and spending all their off time confined to tiny little prison cells! They’ve been bred over thousands of years to love the city life! They get holidays off, yo! Hey, those stables are so clean and warm and comfy, I’d even live there, Neeson cries with glee.

Honestly, he comes off as borderline batshit.

Post-interview, Jon works in a nice little stab at Neeson’s expense. It’s not on the Moment of Zen video clip (damn you, Stewart!), but it involves a joke about Monday’s guest, Jimmy Carter, who’ll be coming out in favor of horse meat sandwiches.

Notes

* When it’s you vs. Alec Baldwin, and Alec Baldwin looks like the sane, kind, compassionate party in the dispute…well, that’s not a good sign, brother.

(Clip from the January 22, 2009 show.)

Stephen Colbert gives PETA a tip o’ his hat…

Saturday, January 17th, 2009 by Kelly Garbato

Crossposted from V for Vegan.

…for making the consumption of “land fish” socially acceptable!
 

 
Mmmmm!

In all seriousness, there has got to be, at the very least, a veg*n sympathizer on The Colbert Report writing staff. Stephen is just too well-versed on animal issues. The Sea Kittens campaign, for example, hasn’t received extensive coverage from the mainstream media (not enough T&A), and yet TCR is aware of the campaign – and even understands it. (Good-natured mocking aside.)

To sweeten the deal, Stephen signed off Thursday’s show with a spin on Bob Barker’s “don’t forget to spay and neuter your pets” signature line:
 

 
Video links: January 15, 2009: Tip/Wag – Monkey on the Lam and January 15, 2009: Spay and Neuter Your Pets.

Veg*nism & Pop Culture: Meat huggers ruin everything on The Mentalist.

Sunday, January 11th, 2009 by Kelly Garbato

Crossposted from V for Vegan.

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Proceed with caution: Major spoilers ahead!

A few weeks ago, I wrote about an animal rights terrorism plotline on CBS’s The Mentalist. At the time, I worried that maybe the show had jumped the shark. Well, after a brief break over the holiday season, The Mentalist returned Tuesday with an awesome episode (Season 1, Episode 11: Red John’s Friends). Although…I was a little surprised to see animal rights terra-ists make another brief appearance. That’s two episodes in a row, and in completely unrelated story lines. And this time, we Totally. Ruin. Everything. Like WTF, Bruno Heller!?

Here are the relevant bits: the titular character (Simon Baker as Patrick Jane) used to be a psychic charlatan, a fraud. A real sleazy John Edward type. While on the daytime talk show circuit, Jane started talking smack about a serial killer called Red John, whom he was “helping” the police to catch. Red John got pissed and killed Jane’s wife and daughter. Jane renounced his flim-flamin’ ways and joined the California Bureau of Investigation (CBI) as a legitimate consultant – with the ultimate goal of one day finding Red John and exacting revenge.

There’s the background. So. In this particular episode, a convicted murderer (Todd Stashwick as Jared) makes a deal with Jane: Jane proves the man’s innocence (he’s an asshat, but ultimately not guilty of this particular crime), and he’ll tell Jane everything he knows about Red John (a friend of friend dealio). Jane ultimately solves the case, catching the real killer – but with a little help from Red John. Red John, you see, is onto Jared, and wants him sprung from the pokey so Red John can kill him before Jared divulges his identity. Jared suspects as much because, hey! – he’s flapping his gums about outing a serial killer. CBI wants Jared to get to Red John who also wants to get Jared. It’s a game of cat and mouse, and they’re all playing one another.

(More…)

Tiger Penis, Cow Taxing & Cocaine Honey on The Colbert Report

Saturday, January 10th, 2009 by Kelly Garbato

Crossposted from V for Vegan.

On Wednesday’s The Colbert Report (1/7/09), Stephen discusses not one, not two, but three animal-related stories!

First up: Barack Obama’s possible appointment of CNN’s Sanjay Gupta to the post of Surgeon General. Stephen includes a clip from CNN’s Planet in Peril: Battle Lines special in which Gupta attempts to purchase illegal tiger penis:
 

 
In case the video doesn’t embed/play properly (I couldn’t resist tinkering around with Comedy Central’s unwieldy block of code), the segment title (with link) is “Dr. Gupta’s Penis Pyramid”.

Then, in his Tip of the Hat/Wag of the Finger segment, he mentions

1) The EPA’s (supposed) proposed tax on cows (and pigs), in order to combat climate change and

2) Recent “scientific” “research” in which liquid cocaine was placed on the backs of honey bees in order to assess their reactions.
 

 
Because fucking with bee populations is exactly what we should be doing right about now. Not.